NEVER GIVE UP (SAMPLE CHAPTERS)

INTRODUCTION

One of my favorite movie scenes ever occurs in Rocky Balboa (2006). Rocky’s son confronts him about his decision to enter the ring after a few years of retirement. He accuses Rocky of trying to ruin his life by reentering the boxing ring again. The excerpt from Rocky’s response is below:

“But somewhere along the line you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger to you and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard you started looking for someone to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know, the world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. It ain’t about how hard you hit but about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now, if you know what you are worth, then go out and get what you are worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers, saying you ain’t where you want to be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that, and that ain’t you. You are better than that!”

Rocky did a far better job describing what life is about than I ever could. Life is a tough journey that is filled with up and downs. Circumstances aren’t always going to turn out the way we hope and the sooner we accept it the better. There are times when everything would turn out the way we want and sometimes it won’t. We tend to look for whom to blame that failure on, whether it is our parents, friends, environment or the circumstances we find ourselves.

Challenges can be extremely intimidating leaving us feeling completely powerless as they are enough to make us question both our sanity and our ability to overcome them. We all handle challenges differently; some of us choose to embrace and face them head on while others cower at their presence. Whatever our positions, we all wish to conquer them and eradicate them from our lives altogether.

It is the challenges that we go through, that usually shape whom we become. How we react is what separates people who go on and achieve great things no matter what from people who just give up when obstacles come their way.

 Life will always throw some obstacles in your way, but never let it keep you down. It is not easy but it can be achieved as long as you have a vision, if you persevere, are committed and willing to learn.

The reason these people are great is that they found their purpose and they used their unique talents to fulfil it. Our purpose is our destination, while success is the journey we embark on to reach that purpose. Every man must first find his purpose.

Life is sometimes like picking from a deck of cards; we don’t know what we are going to get but we have to decide what to do with it.

 Most people focus on their lack of resources, such as money, time or connections, instead of focusing on their resourcefulness, like hard work, perseverance, courage or passion. You can use your resourcefulness to get resources but you can’t use your resources to get resourcefulness. We must learn to focus on the most important thing, which is our resourcefulness.

You determine your level of resourcefulness while you might not have control over your resources. This book is about developing the important one—our resourcefulness.

CHAPTER 1

DISPELLING THE MYTHS

There are some myths that people believe about success that sometimes hinder their ability to be successful. We will be discussing some of those myths and how they affect our lives and the lives of those around us in this chapter.

MYTH 1: BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY

After four years of working as a research analyst at Cashcraft Asset management, I decided it was my time to quit. I enjoyed my job because it offered me the opportunity to do what I did best; research and analyzing the Stock market. But I never felt fulfillment going to work everyday. It was at the height of the recession; many workers were being laid off and inflation was at an all-time high. A lot of businesses around the country were facing a lot of difficulties and the word on the street was that there was no money. I informed a close friend of my mine about the decision and he was shocked. His first response was, “Do you have another job?” to which I responded, “No, but I’m planning to start my own business.”

He cautioned me against resigning in that economic downturn, warning that I might regret it. He went on to lecture me about how there were a lot of people who would do anything to have my job. Why leave something that pays you money at the end of the month for something you won’t know when your next income will be available?

It’s a question that we either ask ourselves or others when they decide to leave the secure world of paid employment to start a business. People don’t like to get out of their comfort zone. My friend meant well, he was only looking out for my interest by making me aware of the risk I was taking. But we take risks every day. Leaving your house in the morning is a risk. Staying in your present job is a risk because you aren’t sure whether you are going to be fired today or not. Why take risks helping others and not take risks to help yourself?

A popular saying goes, ‘Better safe than sorry.’ I lived my life by that principle for so long only to realize later that by playing it safe most of my life I had settled for a mediocre kind of living. By playing safe and trying to avoid failure I had missed out on a lot of great opportunities that could have enhanced my life. As a new year began and I started to make New Year resolutions, I realized that my one goal since leaving college was to impact the world. The past few years had left me wondering what happened to that young college graduate who thought the world was in the palm of his hand, who was ready to leave his own footprints on it. He had now settled for an 8 – 5 job, doing the same thing almost every day and waiting for a pay check at the end of the month.

For almost four years I sat on the sidelines waiting for what I called the right time, only to realize there is no right time. The right time is to begin now if you want to make an impact on your world. And I thought to myself, what if I fail? It is okay to fail as long as you are not afraid to get up and keep fighting.

Author of Harry Potter book series, J.K. Rowling, in her 2008 commencement speech to Harvard University students said, “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you fail by default.” Playing it safe doesn’t protect you from failing. It might protect you from small failure but it ends up only exposing you to a bigger failure, which is not living the life you were meant to live. We were created for a purpose. And it is our duty to find that purpose and live it.

MYTH 2: FACTORS BEYOND ME

We can always make an excuse for our lack of success, whether it’s our environment, lack of capital or time, or family status. We are the ultimate deciders of our fate, not where we find ourselves. Our environment, capital, time and other factor can be a stumbling block to success but they can’t stop us. Our faith, courage and attitude are the important factors that help determine who we become. All of these have been deposited inside every one of us by God, so what we require to succeed is in us all.

Our environment, relatives and friends may disappoint us but that should never stop us. Pastor Myles Munroe once said that the wealthiest place on earth is the cemetery because it is full of many untapped potential. If you asked those dead people why they never fulfilled their potential, I am sure they could come up with many excuses that we can all relate to. They would give the excuses that we are giving right now. If we are looking for excuses as to why we are not living fulfilled lives, we can always find some.

I had a conversation some few months ago with a veteran Nigerian business man. I started by saying that what we need is not an agricultural revolution but an industrial revolution. Nigeria focusing on agricultural revolution means taking a 50-year step back. I went on to narrate how we need to build industries because it is the only way we can create substantial employment for our growing population. My friend responded that industries built in Nigeria cannot last due to factors such as lack of power and infrastructure. The infrastructural deficit is definitely a stumbling block to building a profitable business but it doesn’t make it impossible.

Many local companies, such as Dangote Group, House of Tara, Wakanow and Honeywell Group, are producing items every day and making profits. Multinational companies such as Shoprite, MTN, Etisalat, Total, and ExxonMobil have also come to Nigeria and made huge profits. It is our mindset that often limits us, not uncontrollable factors.

MYTH 3: I’M NOT SMART ENOUGH

A friend once approached me and said how he wished he was a computer geek. He would have become a billionaire by now, he said. He went on to name tech titans such as Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Jack Ma, and how their computer skills had turned them into billionaires. I have encountered many people who wished they had such skills and talked about how much their lives would have been so different if they did. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Jack Ma and other tech titans were able to change the world not because of their computer skills but their desire to change their world.

There are many computer geeks around the world but not all are billionaires. Steve Jobs had no idea how to build a computer when he co-founded Apple Inc. It was his business partner, Steve Wozniak, who had knowledge of building computers, but today Steve Jobs is synonymous with computer revolution. John D. Rockefeller knew nothing about the process involved in refining petroleum when he started his refinery business. He hired a bunch of scientist and engineers to help him build his refinery.

 John D. Rockefeller only had a vision and a purpose and he hired people who could help him fulfill that vision and purpose. And he became the richest man to ever live. It is not your level of education or qualification that determines how successful you will become. It is your ability to convince people to create your dreams that matters. The richest people are the people who can hire the smartest people to fulfill their dreams. The Chinese billionaire, Jack Ma, once said, “that you must make sure you hire people who are smarter than you.”

MYTH 4: GIVE UP WHEN YOU FAIL

Just because we fail at something doesn’t mean we should give up. We should view failure as a way to learn how to do it better. It is said that Thomas Edison conducted a total of 10,000 failed experiments. He must have been tempted to quit but he persevered instead. Thomas Edison had about 10,000 reasons to give up but he didn’t. Instead, he saw it as 10,000 ways to make it better. That is why Thomas Edison is today considered one of the greatest inventors the world has ever known. He invented the incandescent light bulb, the photograph and about 1091 other inventions for which he either single handedly or jointly filed patent for.

We might not be able to determine what fate throws at us but we can determine how we react to it. Just because we fail at something the first time doesn’t mean we can’t succeed at it later. When we encounter multiple failures, we should not let ourselves be discouraged. We will never know if the next try is when we will get a breakthrough. Perseverance is a trait that we must all imbibe in order for us to succeed. Giving up is taking the easy way out when we fail; persevering is taking the hard way. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy, so we must learn to persevere.

President Muhammad Buhari of Nigeria won the Nigerian presidential election in 2015 on his fourth try. He first contested on the platform of All Nigeria Peoples Party in 2003 and 2007, and Congress for Progressive Change in 2011, before finally gaining a victory on the platform of All Progressives Congress in 2015.

President Buhari spoke about how he never wanted to run for the office of the president after failing thrice but was cajoled by stalwarts of the APC led by Governor Tinubu to contest the fourth time. On his fourth try, he defeated the incumbent President Goodluck Jonathan. No incumbent had ever lost a Nigerian presidential election, and President Buhari not only won on his fourth try, but he made history as the first person to defeat an incumbent.

When we encounter multiple failures, we tend to retreat to our comfort zone. We must learn to persevere and not give up. Life is like being in a boxing ring and you will get knocked down a couple of times. But it doesn’t mean you’ve lost. You only lose when you decide not to stand up.

MYTH 5: I DON’T HAVE EXPERIENCE

Experience is not the most important factor that determines how successful you are. Having no experience doesn’t automatically mean you will fail, as long as you have vision and courage, a vision of what you want to accomplish in life and the courage to see it through. Experience without courage and vision will lead to fruitless effort. But you can accomplish so much if you have vision and courage, even without experience. Experience does give you better hindsight but it is not a prerequisite for success.

During the 2016 Republican presidential primaries, 17 candidates entered the race for the Republican nomination. Nine were past and serving governors, five were senators, and three had never held a political office. Out of the three newbies, one had run for office before but lost. Her name is Carly Fiorina. Only Donald Trump and Ben Carson had never run for office.

The pool of candidates boasted veteran Republican politicians such as Governors Jeb Bush and Mike Huckabee, Senators Rand Paul, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio and many more. Majority of the people, including me, never expected Trump to win. I thought to myself, he is a newbie so there is no way he can muscle his way through the shark-infested water that is the party primaries. Donald Trump won by surpassing the 1237 delegate count required for nomination on May 26, 2016 and he was formally nominated at the Republican convention in July.

The victory came as a surprise to most as very few people thought he had a chance to win the November 8 presidential election. His Democratic opponent was Hilary Clinton; she had served as first lady for eight years, a senator for another eight years, and four years as secretary of state. She was a household name in US politics and people expected an easy path to victory for her.

 Donald Trump predicted his own victory but he was mocked by the major news media and politicians on both side of the aisle. Throughout his campaign he never wavered but displayed himself to be a man with vision and courage.

Donald Trump proved the critics wrong again by defeating Hilary Clinton at the November 8 US presidential election. The victory came as a surprise to everyone except Donald Trump. President Donald Trump never had the experience but he had a vision, a plan and courage. These three factors were good enough to help him reach the White House.

Experience is not the key to success as long as you have courage and vision.  Fifteen of the seventeen Republican candidates had experience but they failed to clinch the nomination. You could have experience and still fail so why let the lack of it stop you from accomplishing your dream? Bill Gates never had any experience in programming when he created Microsoft. Today he is the richest man in the world. He only had a vision, a plan and courage which enabled him fulfil his dream.

MYTH 6: FAILING MEANS SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH MY FAITH

I had a friend named John who had a booming business for about three years. Then all of a sudden the business started to experience problems. The business began to have issues during a period when the country was experiencing an economic downturn. And most other businesses were facing problems in one form or the other. John was a devout Christian; he went to church at least twice a week, served as a worker in church, and he was one of the most upright people I knew.

 As his business began to experience issues, he started to question his personal faith. He wondered if somehow he had offended God and God was using this problem to punish him. I couldn’t really understand why John was afraid of the state of his spirituality. God is love and He cares about us so much more than we can fathom. God isn’t like man. He isn’t monitoring every one of our moves in order to catch us in a transgression so He can punish us. I told him that the issue his business was facing was mostly due to the economic downturn of the nation and it would pass.

But he replied, “I am a Christian so I should be exempted from recession.” My response was, “You are correct to an extent, but that exemption depends more on God’s grace than our own action. Sometimes God might punish us for a wrong deed, but just because something goes wrong doesn’t necessarily mean that He is unhappy with us.”

There are many Christians like my friend John who think being a believer should shield you from all life’s dangers. Jesus said, “Carry your cross and follow me.” The cross represents a burden, so following Christ doesn’t shield you from problems in the world.

 In fact, it was only one out of Jesus’s twelve disciples that did not die a violent death: Peter was crucified upside down, Paul was beheaded, and the other disciples, except John, died in gruesome ways. We have been called to take up our crosses and follow Christ. Yet most of us want to follow Christ without carrying our crosses.

Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12: 8–10 (NKJV), “Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul was an apostle of Christ and he went through many tough times, but he did not take them to mean that his relationship with Christ had diminished. He went on to say that he took pleasure in reproaches, infirmities, persecution, needs and distresses because going through them was for the glory of Christ. Life couldn’t have been tougher for Paul, but he wasn’t comparing himself to others. God has a purpose for everything that occurs in our lives and our goal should be to see that purpose. When things aren’t going our way and we pray but there seems to be no answer, it doesn’t mean God has deserted us. It also doesn’t necessarily mean God is angry at us.

Paul said he prayed thrice for all his troubles to disappear but God replied that His grace was sufficient for him. What problem are you going through wherein you have prayed but there seems to be no answer? It doesn’t mean you are worse than those Christians who seem better off than you. The hardest part of being a Christian and going through issues is being surrounded by fellow Christians who appear to be better off.

Your breakthrough might not come today but it doesn’t mean it won’t come tomorrow. All you need to do is to keep your eyes on the author and finisher of our faith and He will lead you through.

If we are looking for excuses as to why we are not where we want to be, we could always find one. Never let anything stop you from achieving your dreams whether it’s your lack of experience, previous mistakes or fear of the unknown. You can achieve whatever you choose to pursue as long as you have faith in yourself, you are committed and are consistent. Our dreams are within our reach if we are willing to let go of our fears. We must master our thought process in order to achieve great things.

I remembered the first time I went skiing. It was about 10 years ago. I and about sixteen of my college buddies had spent our weeklong spring break volunteering in three different states—Tennessee, South Carolina and North Carolina. It was a trip shrouded in secrecy because we used MTV’s Road Rules as our theme. This meant we had no idea where we were going until a few hours before takeoff. We had to take part in a scavenger hunt to figure out our next destination. It was exciting and adventurous for me. During our trip to Boone, North Carolina, which is located up in the Great Smoky Mountains, the group leader, Ben, suggested that we all go skiing the next day. I didn’t know what skiing was so I didn’t have much of a reaction. Everyone else in my group seemed excited about the suggestion so I thought to myself that it couldn’t be that bad and so pretended to be excited.

Ben asked us to pray for a heavy snowfall that night so they wouldn’t have to use artificial snow at the ski resort. I had never seen snow before that day so I was pretty excited. I had grown up most of my life in Nigeria, which is a country that has a tropical climate. I had moved to the USA two years earlier but I lived in a small town called Milledgeville that was in Georgia and not a single inch of snow had ever fallen there. There was snowfall that night but it was just about an inch and a half of snow. I thought of asking my buddies what skiing was but I didn’t because of pride. What would they have thought of me if I asked them?

I called a friend of mine named Demetrius the next day just to chat. During our discussion, I informed him about the skiing trip that was to take place later in the day. I heard his hysterical laughter over the phone.

Demetrius asked, “Do you know how to ski or have you ever gone skiing?”

I replied, “No.”

He went on to say, “You are in for a surprise, but let me know how it goes.” After some silence, he remarked “I’m sure you are going with your white friends because most black people don’t ski.”

Demetrius is an African American so his hysterical laughter which had greeted my announcement fell into proper perspective. Maybe he was right after all, there were was one other black person in my team while the rest were white.

Around three o’clock, my buddies and I left for the ski lodge. The trip took us about twenty minutes. We got down from the bus and headed straight for the rental section. We rented equipment and went straight to the ski slope. At the ski slope, everyone on my team put on their ski gear while I struggled with mine. A friend came over and asked if he could help but I told him not to worry. All my friends started going down the slope and skiing except Ashley.

She removed her gear and dropped her pole and walked towards me.

Ashley asked, “Can I help you with your gear?”

I answered “Yes” and she proceeded to show me how to put them on.

She asked with a smile, “Do you know how to ski?”

I replied that I didn’t and she said, “I guess I was right. I had been watching you and thought you might need help.” Ashley proceeded to put on her gear and pick her ski poles. She asked me to watch and follow her lead. As I tried to move down the slope I fell down.

With each fall, Ashley encouraged me to try again. I tried five more times but fell on each occasion. I thought it was time to quit. I began to think to myself, Ashley is as patient and encouraging as she could and I can’t do it. I guess Demetrius was right about the race issue. I could hardly find a black person on the slope, too, so maybe this was not meant for me.

So I turned to Ashley and said, “I am no longer interested. Skiing is not meant for me. I have tried so many times and have failed. Go and have your fun, don’t let me stop you.”

She frowned and replied, “I’m not leaving you until you learn how to ski. I know you can do it if you would just try harder.”

After realizing how determined she was I told her I was willing to learn as long as she was willing to teach. I stood up and tried to ski as she had been teaching me…………

Buy the Book on Amazon kindle to find out the rest of the story.

The link to the book is............  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FMCVGM7